The moon is raw-on the mountain,
Taken aside, and inside
It feels like I could heal…
But I know.
I know.
Its lit up like silver,
Reminding me you’re not around,
You just keep me down,
Feed me to the ground-
Turning my cells…into dust…
Flood me faster til I start to rust.

I made a mistake.
I painted this picture,
Made it through the day,
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
Oh, you got away.
I made a mistake.

Where’s the trigger?
What finger to use?
Where to aim,
What direction to choose.
The moon is raw up on the mountain-
Think you’ll be getting down-
You’ve got a problem.
Start to feel like-
I could help you heal-
Think again-
That was not the deal.
You came fast,
Turn my skin to dust,
Flood me faster til we start to rust…

Flood me faster til I start to rust.
Flood me faster til I start to rust.
You came fast,
High like angel dust,
Drown again, cause once was not enough.

It’s been so long-without you,
Never seen an ocean view like it was then.
All these moments-pass without you,
I never expected to feel this way again.
There is nothing they could give me,
To fill the emptiness of space.
There is no time like the present,
To wish that I had been replaced.

You know…that they love you-
Never loved you-
No, they could never see;
No…not like I love you-
Will they love you-
No…not like me…

Your voice is like ice to me,
No other melody could fill this hole.
It pours through my skin,
Impedes itself into my soul.
All this time, I survived,
On memory alone.
All this time, I survived,
Just to have you watch me go again.

Nobody sees you, sees you lying in your bed.
Nobody sees you, sees your stare has gone half dead.
You know…that they love you-
Never loved you-
No, they could never see;
No…not like I love you-
Will they love you-
No…not like me…

Is there an antidote for hating every second?
To block your light from shining through?
Is there an antidote for hating every second?
Every second. Every second.

You know…that they love you-
But no…not enough to see.
They will…they will never love you,
Never love you quite like me.
You know…that they will always love you-
But no, just not enough to see you.
They will, they will never love you enough,
Never love you, quite…like…me.

Stay, stay with me awhile-
I don’t know you child-
But, you’re filling up this hole.
They are saying things about me-
Reckless and disturbing-
But you’re softening the blow.

Why…why did you go?
Said you’d let me know,
Why did you go, so far away?
Why…why did you go?
Was I not enough?
Did I push you away?
Why did you go, did you go away?

I couldn’t give you the seas-
The hills-
You’re so delicate
And miunderstood.
I could have loved you all night-
My hands in your hair-
Your hair on my thighs-
Why did we say goodbye?
Why did we say…goodbye?

Why…why did you go?
Said you’d let me know,
Why did you go, so far away?
Why…why did you go?
Was I not enough?
Did I push you away?
Why did you go, did you go away?

You would walk around-
With the universe in hand,
Like flowers in the dirt
And my knees pressed on the sand.
Now who is in your bed?
Who is filling up these sheets?
You might be in love
But, your warmth should be with
Me…
With me….
With me….yeah, you should be with me.

Lately I’ve been surrounded by the humming of your voice-
The bleaching of your skin-
You left as if I ever had a choice…

Why…why did you go?
Said you’d let me know,
Why did you go, so far away?
Why…why did you go?
Was I not good enough?
Did my love push you away?
Why did you go, did you go so far…
Why….why did you let me go?
What could I have done to make you stay?
Was I not good enough?
Why did you go…so far away?

As my arms stretch out
The sea has returned with its unforgiving mask
To push me bitterly into my place.
Where here, I’ve not existed for you.
But come so close as to feel your hands
Once again, as through my sleep.
Your eyes, too bright for the sky-
Stealing rays and building them into your hair.
I have seen the sunlight from my window-
From a tent and cradled adoringly inbetween your arms;
I’ve seen you…
How you carefully unfold me.
I’ve seen you…
Blazing with the beams of the sun,
But with my senses I know you under moons
And dusty lamps.

I’ve felt what sentimental carnal doctrine
Is clasped between the pillars of your persuasive thighs.
Suffocating through light, streams of darkness within your body.

This is where the mask of sea has determined I no longer
Exist for you…
As if it doesn’t know you’ve always loved me.
As if our bones could never ache again.
To force into me the notion that
I do not still feel your fingertips through my hair-
The static of your voice chilling
The curvature of my neck.
The pattern of your breath sounds…
Whispering, longingly, about me while you sleep.

To close my eyes and sleep
Without your hand to my elbow-
Your wet mouth to my skin…
The dark within me lives in that place.

Your little sunburst lips are like cannibals;
Feeding on the lonesome weak
And drunk on the fragile.
Never before has a taste of a bitter brew start
Lingered in my mouth.
Never before did your song turn my head
Straight off
Til it hit the ground.

When you see me falling backwards-
Like imprinted stars I’ll fly,
Don’t hesitate to wish or to wonder
Once I crash if I’m still alive.
If I’m breathing, I am bleeding,
Seeping life into dirt.
So don’t hesitate to wonder
If my afterlife will be a flight, return, or burn.
There is no being shrewd when approaching the otherside.
Don’t hesitate to wonder if I’m still alive.

If it were you, would you wait around dying for me?
Burning all your bridges, stranding yourself out at sea?
Oh, they won’t show you signs or entertain your plea,
Until your eyes can see all that mine see.

My old man, lover, turned into a monster.
His face, a father, grown out of me a martyr.
Catch the beams of light spinning out of each of your songs…
So what will you be now that I’m gone?

Your fingers-and the seaside-
Crawl through my veins and down my spine.
Fragments of your breath and tide-
Form the sum of my whole life…
And you have forced out every breath
From my own chest today.

Blinded by the beams and meaning of light that rage from your songs…
So who will you sing about now that I’m gone?
If it were you, could you wait around dying for me?
Fading until your eyes see what mine see?
It’s always been you, waiting around pining for me.
I wish that my eyes could see what you see.

By night, that heart-
Its escaped from my prison of a chest.
Through darkness
It knows no other way than to search for you-
Your moonshine skin
And roman candle hair.
The rest of me remains, sit and wait
For your ghost to reappear to me as I sleep.
The sand grains of white
Stolen oceans and red flaring lights
Natures golden bright raining avenues;
Is this the color of regret?

Where the living came to drown.
You alone, are a dream.

Deep rivers…they run for you,
Touched fires
And sailed your ships.

I didn’t mean for me to wake you.
Your skin just glows like sundust in the air.
And I will love you if you want me to.
I will try to love you if you’re wanting me to care,
I care, I do.
I will love you now if you are asking me to.

You’re all that I feel-
Blood that pumps my heart out.
You’re all that I taste-
The aching inside of my mouth.
I love you-the dark-as it should be loved;
That’s more than the stars-more than enough.

And your name…rings like melancholy-
Hymns in my ear;
Devilish flesh yet to be still.
I’ve wondered about you,
Insatiable lonely dust
Churning memories into liquid lust…
Its just water.
Separating us.
Mediocre, to be swam, or gypsy sails-
Oh so easily.
You emerge from my fingertips
Howling with amorous fever.
Blazing like nights overturning
Into the dawn…
With ghostly shadows dancing-
Flickering on your brow,
That delicacy just strokes your back
And remains so unseen by your
Landscape eyes.

Their dots connect like the silence
Of my constellations;
Falling asleep with my hand on your chest-
If only as reliving what I once owned of you,
Now passing itself off as a dream.
One day you may lift your arms
And I’ll be beneath you in hail storms of
Tears from my glacial heart-
Desperate as you once were for me…
I’ll be seeking shelter in your cold sea.

I’ve seen the red river…
I love you modestly;
Though my legs wandered off-
My mouth laid dreams to where you are.
So effortlessly
That when you sleep-
My eyes, too, close.

That infinite night.

And nights, they have you colliding like salt water;
These slow Autumns and street lamps…
Every moment carries you to me
As if every tide exists.
May I once again fall in love with you
Over whistling winds and sand;
Once again receiving the warmth
That laid waiting for me in your outstretched hand.

My heart is heavier than wet leaves
And muddy hair…
Your caress unraveled such delicate words-
Where out towards the depths
Your eyes matched with the sea…
I felt something deeper than pain
When I forced you free.
I’ve reciprocated your desire-
Never knew from when or where,
If I did not exist for you or your breath-
I’d no longer sleep…
No longer inspire.

For my whole body-
Knees, waist, and earth
Crave your voice.
I ache…crave your taste
As the sunrise you once
Devoured peacefully off my fingernails.

Oh, she lived, same as clouds sailing.
Same as his waves and tides.
Same as veins and saline.
And the Captain, he was never caught stealing.
His girl, who lived in the sky, Captain never saw
She was absent of feeling.

“Hey…darling, what do you see? Cause I see nothing else
When you’re around me. So tell me muppet…do you wanna be free?
Because I’d wear these chains if they tied you to me.”

I’m burning, my desire- is drunk and clean.
I’ll give you something- to remember of me.
Its flames, flames, flames, glare up in your eyes.
I feel the pressure of the moon
Bleeding in-between both my thighs.

You said “Hey…darling, what a wonderful tune.
Will you remember me? Cause I’ll remember you too.
So tell me muppet…do you like what you see?
Cause if you wanna love me deeper-
I’ll let you love me for free…”

I was the Devils daughter-just look at me.
Be careful of what you wish for
And what you believe;
In case you never noticed
Or failed to see-
I’m the Devils daughter
And I like to bleed.
So please just toss me in your ocean-
Drown me east or west.
I’ve got no trouble breathing
Because when you kiss me
I suffocate, but you kill me best.
Oh how time just flies
And crystallizes in your water diamond eyes.

I got a hunch, love you so much
I want to die.
Touch me once
Or three times
Or twice.
Your golden, golden, golden hair and skin,
Make me so ill-
The way you hover my mouth with your narrow chin.

You make me cry…
You make me cry…
(Someone so beautiful)
The sound of your voice-
Can you hear it all as I do?
Can you see the echo of your
Face behind me as it reflects my
Sleep straight through?
All your age lines-so defined-
Tracing every spot like chickenpox
Connect the dots that line your eyes.
I’d never make you choose.
You make me cry
So what’s the use for you?-
When I’d never make you choose…
No I’ve never made you choose.

“So tell me muppet…do you like what you see?
Cause if you want to love me deeper-
I’ll let you love me for free…cause nobody else wants me.
Nobody else wants to keep me for their own. So do you want me?
I’ll let you have me for free, I’ll let you be my home.”

I wanted to taste the air of the night
Through your mouth-
Lips and on your breath,
Tangled on your tongue;
But Damon,
I’ve never felt an aching quite like you.
I’ve regretted moments-
The night I sighed-
Or lost a vein.
A night or two I’ve felt a dream,
Woke up just to drown in the blood of own pain.
No river drowns my heart;
And no ocean could drown me,
No bath tub
Lake
Or creek beside
Could end the life I lead.

Just one or two or three more times,
I’ve counted up to 12;
No life I’ve led is worth the loss
That I gave up after having held.

…And I love you.
I never said, so deep,
In the woods when you had me,
But I love you.
The roofs…the drink…the stars.
All the sundust in my eyes.
I miss your smell…
Your prickly skin and all the crystal skies
That you gave to me.

Our hands were intertwined as we
Swept through evergreens and oaks;
You left Doves Foot Cranesbill behind my ear…
We could go to Canada,
Its just like London, you see?
I could slip away with you
If you sat right beside me.
My toes have all lost feeling
Except the energizing sickness of remorse;
Now you’re in  a garden with her
And a child
Just a stone made home that I wanted
To share-
But you made it with her-
And I’m lost….
I drink because I gave you up…

My feet on the sand and your pictures  of me
Felt so relevant;
When I’ve been so lonely for so long.
So long.
No river drowns my heart;
And no ocean could drown me,
No bath tub
Lake
Or creek beside
Could end the life I lead.

I hope I die without you.
I hope I die while you’re still around.
I miss the fragrance on your lips
And how your breath felt on my shoulders
At night.

Such a massacre of hollow emotion
And virgin bones
For you to swallow.

The music, every kiss you etched to me
Has been like no other;
You stole me-
Every one of your breaths soars
The skies to find me…
To leave me your verse.
And the branches rain like Seattle burns.

These words
Like dreams
In breath itself
Winds my chest deep in and out.
It always finds me…
The gentle way
I watched your body unfold,
What let loose hands have been born to distressingly hold.
No heart of gold
Or pedestal to kneel-
No more pitiful fingers that I’ve longed to feel.
Once more…and without Autumn
These gasps are not sure to last-
But drift into screams that keep me awake at night.
Watching waves as they weave-
Watching you as I sleep-
Every fragment behind my eyes relives you
And cries your name
As the holy word harboring my mouth.

And these better things beat nothing as bright as stars,
Or fire;
As if you were that-burning through
The coarse edge of my fragile skin.
These days, these nights, these sights I see
Of every melting sun
Is lost inside me…
Every last nerve sings a verse I drank away for you.

I’ve dissolved.
Ash of a volcano
Where I had slept for all my years.
I miss the taste of the sunbeam that kindled on your chin.

I think of you slowly…a deep and breathing solace;
You are the providence
In which the universe revolves.